tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55033697964439639132024-03-08T07:45:55.908-06:00GofahneRoadYou never know what could happen here.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-20751285229444166412011-04-24T16:50:00.001-05:002011-08-21T20:04:56.882-05:00Be AprilHabits are funny things. Some research says a habit is formed in 28 days, others say 21, and now some crazy fool (just to help us feel more defeated) is saying 66. I think all you have to do to make a habit is start somewhere. So in February of last year, that's exactly what I did.<br />
<br />
I was unhappy and uncomfortable in my own skin. It didn't seem to fit anymore. Even though I'm typically a happy person, I hadn't been happy in quite some time. A few years ago I decided to get real mad about a few things that unfolded in my life. Somehow I thought being bitter made me "deep" and being happy made me naive. I fought what was natural and worked on being scrappy instead. No one believed me, but that's not the point. Fake it 'til you make it only takes you so far. Then you're left at the end of the road wearing a shell and feeling less like yourself than ever.<br />
<br />
On the bright side, when something authentic happens? You don't really have as much control as you'd like to think you do anyway. You simply put one foot in front of the other. You do the research, you buy the groceries, print the 5k training plan, sell tons of your stuff, and even wait for the holidays to pass so you start on the date that gives you the best chance for success. But I believe, when you start working in the right direction, it's easier than all the forcing you were trying to do anyway.<br />
<br />
<br />
I made an active choice to be happy. I make it every day. Many days I fail (miserably). It isn't rocket science. It's a habit. So today's tip is the easiest one I've learned. Be April. Or Michelle. Or Brian. Or Jack Bauer (if you actually ARE Jack Bauer). Stop impersonating a life you thought you were supposed to live or a person you thought you were supposed to be. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's exhausting. Start small by doing something huge. Just be yourself. Don't let anyone but you determine who that is going to be. It's the only skin you've got, so use it. <br />
<br />
Disclaimer: This blog comes with a silver lining. There are real moments that are awful. More than I'd like to admit. I'm not a ridiculous ray of sunshine when the timing doesn't call for it, but more often than not there is SOMETHING positive you can take from every situation. You make the choice. In this space, I've decided to bring a little sunshine even when I know there are a lot more rainy days ahead. That is how rainbows are made anyway. If you find that naive and obnoxious, I thank you for checking this out. If you don't, stick around...even if you learn nothing, I promise you'll at least leave with a smile.<br />
<br />
- April Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-67693555873673611112010-05-13T13:12:00.006-05:002010-05-13T13:13:35.250-05:00We Shall Dance<div class="MsoNormal">Occasionally, even a movie about dance, comes out with a line you’ll never forget. I took some liberty in changing the word marriage to love, but personally I think it’s more fitting anyway. You don’t have to put a ring on it to “get it”. Susan Saradon answers a question in Shall We dance:<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet ... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But when you love someone, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things ... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve been a witness to a few beautiful events over the past couple of weeks. Some exciting, some hopeful, and one tragic. I’ve been a part of celebrating life at almost every stage and I’ve realized how lucky I am to be there for it. Not everyone has friendships like this. But to me, they mean everything. I would do anything to make their wedding day perfect, I would buy the largest bubble in the world to protect my friend’s daughter on her 2<sup>nd</sup> birthday, and I would quite literally lay down my life to take away the pain when my dear friend’s mother passed away. But I can’t do that. I can only repeat and follow through on the two simple words I’ve come to learn is all we have to offer… “I’m here.” As the one giving the comfort, it feels like nothing. I feel helpless and quite honestly useless, but when those I’ve had to lean on in return say the same to me…it means everything.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">At Biggie’s (or as I called her, Miss Fancy) funeral yesterday and in almost every thought I’ve had since I got an email on April 30<sup>th </sup>that treatment wasn’t working, I’ve been acutely aware of the cycle of things. Birth, Life, Celebration and Memories, and eventually death. I don’t like the loss of control or not having a choice in when these things happen. I want to know why. I want to understand How THIS could happen. I can’t. It’s not my place. But when you truly love someone? Friend, companion, lover, or otherwise…you’re there. You laugh together, you forgive together, you celebrate together, and you cry harder than you ever thought you could because you just don’t want them to hurt. Ever. It’s beautiful and scary and a hard way to realize, you’ve grown up.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We hear it all the time. Life is short. But when you see it first hand, it’s hard to think of anything else. So yesterday, we cried. And we laughed. And we celebrated loving an angel in the only way we know how. I won’t ever forget the way I felt when I first met Biggie. And I won’t ever forget the way I felt the last time I got to see her. Because I knew I’d just witnessed something and someone that would change my life forever. I was right the first time and I know I’m right now.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Remember to make everything you do with your loved ones count. The small moments are never small. I keep thinking about the time that lies ahead. I don’t know that there will always be happiness, but I know I won’t miss a chance to stand beside the “family” I chose. When we want to drink champagne, we shall drink. When we want to travel the world, we shall travel. And when we want to dance in each other’s presence and celebrate our lives, whatever life may bring, we shall dance. Right then. In that moment. And with wreckless abadon. </div>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-5966877346742775092010-05-05T10:48:00.013-05:002010-05-05T11:01:43.841-05:00You can’t call it history if we’re still doing it.<span xmlns=""></span><br />
<span xmlns=""><i>On the 5th of every month, bloggers from around the world are open to write about rights and issues concerning women. First started by <a href="http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Shine</span></a> and <a href="http://mariescafe.wordpress.com/" style="color: blue;">Marie</a></i><i> , we're hoping to bring a variety of women's issues to the forefront to make people aware of what's going on. For the month of May, we've chosen to write about <b>Women's Reproductive Rights and Issues</b>. Please join us in telling us your stories, thoughts, and ideas on a monthly basis. To read the first installment, click </i><span style="color: blue;"><i><a href="http://mariescafe.wordpress.com/2010/04/05/womens-writes-pushing-back/" target="_blank">here</a>.</i></span><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span xmlns=""><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_X1oyNw7_rwQ/S-GT9BjcmxI/AAAAAAAAABk/RyjFgTY-2Zs/s1600/Womens+Writes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_X1oyNw7_rwQ/S-GT9BjcmxI/AAAAAAAAABk/RyjFgTY-2Zs/s320/Womens+Writes.jpg" /></a></div><span xmlns=""></span><br />
<span xmlns=""> </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">The past is supposed to teach us to be better in the future. Learn from your mistakes, we're told. Grow, we hear all the time. But who exactly is the "we" in that statement? Today a group of us have joined together to stand up for reproductive rights and issues. Lately women's rights have taken a beating. In all honesty, they've probably taken a beating for much longer than "lately" and I've just been too ignorant to the information until now. I've got to be honest. I do NOT understand it. <br />
<br />
I'm sure you've all heard this little gem before, "Those who can't learn from history are doomed to repeat it." - George Santayana<br />
<br />
I want you to think about the direction we're moving in reproductive rights and not argue with me about abortion. I think you're right to an opinion is just as important as mine, but how do any of the issues below move us forward?</span><br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: blue;"><b><span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/28/us/28abortion.html?emc=eta1">Oklahoma</a><br />
</span></b></div><div style="background-color: white; color: blue;"><b><span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.alternet.org/rights/145956/controversial_utah_law_charges_women_and_girls_with_murder_for_miscarriages_">Utah</a><br />
</span></b></div><div style="background-color: white; color: red;"><div style="color: blue;"><b><span xmlns=""><a href="http://genderacrossborders.com/2010/03/09/sexual-and-reproductive-rights-situation-report-haiti-repro-rights-after-disaster/">Haiti</a></span></b><br />
<br />
</div></div><span xmlns="">The argument behind all abortion is supposedly the sanctity of life vs a person's right to their own body. Yet these statistics (yes, I know you can make statistics out of everything) disturb me tremendously:</span><br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: red;"><div style="color: blue;"><b><span xmlns=""><a href="http://www.now.org/issues/abortion/roe30/beforeafter.html">We call THIS progress?</a></span></b><br />
<br />
</div></div><span xmlns="">I am religious/spiritual/believe there is a power greater than me. I also believe He/She/It is shaking His/Her/It's head at us on a daily basis for the decisions we make in the name of "sanctifying life". When do these judgments apply across the board? Which "life" do you pick and judge? Lie to a high school girl to make her keep the baby, but then essentially make her a leper in the hallways through popularity contests centered around the "celibate" girls. Force a woman to sit through our judgment and keep the child, then blame her when she does not give the baby the attention every child deserves because it WASN'T her decision in the first place. </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">Life IS precious. So is the freedom of CHOICE. I don't have to agree with someone's choice to fight for it or defend it. Give them ALL the facts. ALL the options. Then let them decide. If there is some great punishment at the end of this life by a creator, let Him/Her/It decide. Or let things come as they may. Life has a way of working out no matter what we do. We don't change the outcome. Women will have abortions whether we make new RIDICULOUS laws or not. Children will suffer more by coming into an unwanted life than the alternative. </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">Choice is progress. We've got to do something together to stop people from taking away choices. Until it's YOUR life, kindly stay out of it. <br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns=""></span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-10952278507633340692010-04-09T12:05:00.002-05:002010-04-09T12:07:14.304-05:00Thank you(s), epiphanies, and a HUGE break-up!<span xmlns=""></span><br />
<span xmlns="">This week, in my little corner of the blogosphere, I have been more touched, motivated, and thankful than I could EVER find a way to put into words. A couple days ago, I wrote down possibly one of the most vulnerable subjects of my life. You can read it <a href="http://gofahneroad.blogspot.com/2010/04/skin-im-in.html"><span style="color: red;">HERE</span>.</a> Puh-lease, please, please read the comments below my post if you haven't! What I wrote started the discussion, but the amazing part was in the response. From the VERY bottom of my heart…thank you. To every woman that made me realize that I was not alone in feeling this way, to every man who was so incredibly sweet that I want to just wrap my arms around you and never let go, and to everyone who even took one minute to read what I wrote. I am amazed. <br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">Beyond the support, something else happened. I'm even daring to call it healing. It may seem silly to say I didn't realize how many people struggle with this, but I really didn't. I didn't feel alone anymore, I felt empowered. I feel compassion for anyone that has ever felt like less because of their weight or their mirror. I read so many articles about the issue (here are three of really good ones: <a href="http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2009/03/women-tell-their-body-confidence-secrets" style="color: red;">The best article I read anywhere!</a>, <a href="http://www.womenfitness.net/top10_body_image.htm" style="color: red;">Body Image Tips</a>, and <a href="http://teenhealth.about.com/od/emotionalhealth/a/teenbodyimage.htm" style="color: red;">Teen Body Image Talks - Stopping the Issue at the Start</a>), my eyes hurt. It made me angry. And anger makes me want to fix things. It won't happen overnight, but I'll be damned if I continue to accept feeling this way for the rest of my life. <br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">Which brings us to the break-up. It's Friday. I've never broken up with anything on my blog, but taking a page out of the book of <a href="http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine/" style="color: red;">Shine</a>, this break-up is gonna be a big one (TWSH). Diet companies, airbrushed magazine ads, and unrealistic ideals on outside appearances? WE ARE DONE. No more will I allow you to make me feel like crap about my jean size, my Jessica Rabbit rear end, or my cute little round face. It's mine. It's the only one I get and it's pretty adorable. I'm on to your antics. I know that diet companies have become a $40-100 billion industry based on "failure" or the perception of failure. I see the *Results not typical at the end of every article, diet advertising, and before/after photo you bombard us with endlessly. And I've had it. I may not feel better about this tomorrow. I'm not going to end a 19 year struggle with this overnight, but I'm going to turn my focus on kicking your ass instead of berating my own.<br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">I'd like to challenge everyone to do a few things this next week, month, year of your life. Stop buying diet aids that promise unrealistic results. Stop allowing your friends to obsess (if you see it) over their "imperfections" and find a way to talk to them. Have the conversation. Stop being afraid to say it, because I promise you…we're all feeling it. Stop calling yourself "fat" when what you really mean is, "I'd like to work out more" or "I feel like I'm not living or promoting a healthy lifestyle". Realize that every comment you make could be affecting much more than just you. You could be aiding the struggle of the person sitting next to you and continuing a vicious cycle. We are all beautiful. We are not all Angelina Jolie. And thank God, can you imagine all the babies? If you see something promoting unhealthy expectations, don't buy it. Write a letter to the company, the tv show or magazine promoting it. And equally, promote the good stuff. <a href="http://www.dove.us/?dl=/CFRB/arti_CFRB.aspx%7Ccp-documentid=7051119" style="color: red;">Dove's Real Beauty Campaign</a> or <a href="http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2009/10/these-bodies-are-beautiful-at-every-size?currentPage=1" style="color: red;">Glamour's Campaign to bring real life pictures into magazines</a> are just a few rocking my socks off. People are aware of the problem. If we stop supporting the unrealistic expectations, maybe just maybe we can start seeing the beauty in who we are today and stop living for the person we'll be 5, 10, or 50 pounds from now. <br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">This won't be the end of the talks about this on my blog, but I promise to return to regularly scheduled programming of ranting and useless lightweight ramblings here next week. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone the only way I knew how. In the words of MJ, "If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a CHANGE!"<br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns=""></span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-31026046627657560282010-04-07T13:12:00.005-05:002010-04-07T14:02:20.809-05:00The Skin I’m In<span xmlns=""></span><br />
<span xmlns="">I'm not a terribly personal blogger. I've gone out on a limb from time-to-time when I post, but it's usually more of a rant than anything productive. Today that is not the case. I've written this post about 10 times, been too critical of it, been too scared to post it, then eventually deleted it every time. It's not like me to be very private about anything. I've always felt that if you had to hide it, something was probably still wrong. Well ladies and gentlemen, something is wrong. </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">The issue of weight has presented itself in more forms over the last few weeks than I can even explain. LiLu started an incredible blog of support and community at <b><a href="http://inittogymit.com/" style="color: #cc0000;">In It To Gym It</a></b>. <b><a href="http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine/" style="color: #cc0000;">Shine</a></b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span>bravely posted many of her thoughts/issues in her own struggle<b><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span></b><a href="http://inittogymit.com/2010/03/battling-naked/" style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">here</span></b>.</a> I met<span style="color: #0b5394;"> </span><b><a href="http://eveningsketches.blogspot.com/" style="color: #cc0000;">Sketch</a></b><span style="color: #0b5394;"> </span>and <b><a href="http://www.carissajaded.com/" style="color: #cc0000;">Carissa</a></b> and heard their incredible stories of battling, losing, and even some days feeling like they've overcome weight issues. Then I started reading a book called, <b><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14748.Good_in_Bed" style="color: #cc0000;">"Good In Bed"</a></b>. Since you probably won't click that link, I'll sum it up for you. Girl is overweight, dates boy for 3 years, they break up. Boy gets job at newspaper and writes article about "Loving a Larger Woman". Cue April crying twice before page 50. When I first read the article he wrote, I was so angry with him. How could he believe that loving a larger woman was some sort of gold pin he deserved for not being shallow? How could he think writing something like this was okay? Then I read it again. I read the last paragraph and I cried. Only, I wasn't angry at him anymore.</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">Excerpt: "And now that it's over, I don't know where to direct my anger and my sorrow. At a world that made her feel the way she did about her body – no, herself – and whether she was desirable. At C., for not being strong enough to overcome what the world told her. Or at myself, for not loving C. enough to make her believe in herself."</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">I realize this book is a work of fiction, but I've been there. I've been in a relationship where the man tried to make me see the beautiful things about my body. I'm NOT a big girl. I say I am all the time to protect myself from anyone else saying it first, but I'm not. I'm not thin, nor will I ever be. I'm athletic. I can still skate circles around girls half my size. Many men are still attracted to me. I'm also lucky enough to have friends that tell me I'm gorgeous all the time. This isn't the issue of the outside world. This is MY reflection of weight on ME. </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">I grew up watching a mother (who is incredible, so don't you dare judge her for this) lose weight until she weighed 83 pounds. That is not a mis-print. At 83 pounds, she felt fat. I looked at her "feeling fat" and did the math. If 83 feels fat, what does 120, 130, 140 mean? I couldn't skip eating, so I ate and then purged. For years. I struggled with bulimia until I got caught and I only stopped BECAUSE I got caught. No one that has ever TRULY loved me has ever judged me for one minute about my weight. But I do. Every.Single.Day. </span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">I don't know how to fix this. I'm highly educated (now) about nutrition. I know that eating healthy and exercising is the ONLY way to achieve healthy weight loss and maintenance. I'm fully aware how to do it and that I am capable of it. What I don't understand is why I won't. Why I continually judge myself for not being thin. Why is this the ONE thing I've never gained control of in my life? Why do I look back at pictures when I had 8% body fat and remember EXACTLY how fat I felt when that picture was taken? Why do I let my weight affect everything?</span><br />
<span xmlns=""><br />
</span><br />
<span xmlns="">And what scares me even more? Are the young girls I teach to skate at the rink. It doesn't matter if they are 8 or 14. I watch the skinny girls. I watch the athletic girls. I see them compare everything about their figures to one another. I see the "bigger" girls already becoming "funny" to compensate. It makes me sick to my stomach. I'd love to figure out the pattern so I could stop it. I'd love to help my friends feel complete in every body type they have. I'd love to know why, at the end of every day, we are each our own worst critic. </span><br />
<br />
<span xmlns=""></span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-77170138186814213782010-04-05T15:04:00.002-05:002010-04-05T15:23:14.618-05:00Poisonous mixtures and the part where people start taking my advice!<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"><<a href="http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine/?p=521%20"><img alt="Women's Writes" height="273" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4025/4464709275_ec7f4f0571.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<div class="ii gt" id=":1a7"><br />
Some of you have noticed I've been MIA from the blog world for a while. More of you probably didn't. Mostly I haven't been writing because I've had a little trouble writing anything that didn't come out like this...*$#&%&@!!! No matter though, I'm back today for a very important cause "Women's Writes". I think it's an incredible idea and even my laziness, frustration, lack of anything coherent to write wasn't going to stop me from jumping on the bandwagon. <br />
<span class="il"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="ii gt" id=":1a7"><span class="il">When I was asked to write about an issue relating to women, I had grand ideas. Weight loss, society pressure, shopping, leadership....the list is endless. Then I realized this needed to be something I had actual experience with in my own life. So where did I land? Dating. Let me tell you a little bit about dating from a single, late 20's girl's perspective in the 2010. </span><br />
<div align="center"><span class="il">It. Royally. Sucks. </span></div><span class="il">A few years ago (after<span class="il"> long relationship followed by long relationship), </span>I decided to take some time to heal, grow, learn how to get over some effed up things from my past, and MOST importantly...stop the cycle of "bringing up old shiz" in any possible future relationships. It seems that MANY men do not ever take the time to do this (yeah, yeah, I'm aware women do this too, but this is WOMEN'S writes day...so hush). This ridiculous fear of the unknown is creating a never ending cycle of passing everyone's crap onto everyone else. We each add in a dash of our very own insecurities and we end up with a very poisonous mixture to pass onto the next unsuspecting victim. </span><br />
<span class="il"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="il">Maybe everyone is just afraid of being alone. Maybe we've become so "connected" all the time that we've lost the ability to stand still for a minute and just let things happen. But I'd like to kindly ask you all to STOP it. Immediately. Take some time and put a little metaphoric Neosporin (i.e. spend time with good friends, find hobbies, work on what YOU did wrong in the relationship, etc) on that break-up/divorce wound. Stop looking for the next best thing and MAKE yourself the next best thing. Finding the opposite of everything that drove you crazy in the last relationship won't fix anything. Filling the void with a person who otherwise could truly care about you, will just ruin any chance of a foundation. </span><br />
<span class="il"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="il">Listen up Mr. not-so-healed, not-so-broken-up, not-so-divorced (don't even get me started...it seems I now have to request divorce decrees in writing). Stop hurting wonderful women. Stop answering the questions we ask with the answers you know will get you exactly what you want. We're not a prize, toy or game. We're human beings that just want the actual truth (at least the good ones do). We may not deserve a relationship or a fairy tale ending, but we do deserve to know that we can trust what you say. That when you say you're ready, we don't have to think for you. We can trust that you've taken the time, be that a week or a year or a decade and you've let go of your crap. <span class="il">WORK ON YOU. Then find someone else. It's really that simple. <br />
<br />
And through it all, I still believe there is a right time for everyone. I believe there is a moment when you have in fact finally gotten over or let go of all the hurt you can and you're ready to move forward. I believe those are the relationships that work. The foundations that can survive any of life's earthquakes. And that if we each took a little more time to heal our wounds, we'd end up hurting a lot less people on our path 'o destruction. We'd spend more time talking about all the great dates we've had and all the great experiences we had when we spent just a little more time....single. <br />
</span></span></div><span class="il"></span></div><br />
<br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie"><img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=fe6a2fc9-7d4c-85a5-acfc-fefd7c8f5b2e" /></div></div>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-10686703480590866212010-02-09T15:22:00.001-06:002010-02-11T13:53:16.679-06:00How I lost at least 50 lbs last weekend...and the plan to keep shrinking!<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Think this is about getting skinny? Well it is! Just a different kind of skinny than you probably assumed, but I guarantee the health benefits are just as important. <br/><br/>Over the next month or so I'm de-cluttering my life. I've hired my friend Diana (by payment in wine and laughs). The woman is AMAZING! Sometime near the end of 2009, we all had a slumber party at her house. I went into full-on house envy the moment I walked in the door. This has happened in pretty much every apartment she's lived in that I visited, but I was more than just in awe. I wanted to feel the way I felt in her home. I wanted to feel like everything had a place. And life, at least in those rooms, was in order. I went home after our little shindig and sat in the apartment I love. I quickly noticed that I felt the weight of the entire space..and it was suffocating. I immediately sent her an email, asked for help, and said "I'll follow anything you say and pay whatever you like, just HELP please!"<br/><br/>Last weekend we finally got our schedules to synch up and made a date to attack my apartment. I will openly tell you that I'm not a domestically organized person. You could just stop at, I'm not domestic. My house is usually picked up (unless my life is in shambles) and I feel my home is inviting, but behind closed doors...I am just an "organized mess". I'm learning that all the STUFF I have is a representation of how I feel in general. Life swinging out of control = shoes EVERYWHERE. Waking up late, not working out, drama in full effect? I'd be in shock if my laundry was not coming out of my ears. So I took a long hard look at all my clutter this weekend. If this is the representation of my life...it's not pretty.<br/><br/>I threw away 4 bags of useless products and junk. Don't even get me started on the money that represents. Two bags and 3 boxes went to half price or consignment stores for a little cash, 2 bags and a crate went to my mom and one bag went to donate at goodwill. That's 50+ pounds of CRAP from just a closet and my bathroom....GONE. It felt incredible.<br/><br/>Hanging on to everything was just a lazy, indecisive mode I'd snuggled up against. I didn't know how to get rid of the things making me unhappy, so I didn't. I accepted being comfortable rather than making something better, even though I knew there was no longer any benefit. Pretty much like a bad relationship. The what ifs and the crap we deal with just to avoid change are astounding. Well not here! Not any more. We built all the starter systems and organization around what works in my routine. What is normal and functional in my life. We're going to flip my closet, sell some bulky furniture items, create systems that I can actually keep up with, and get some crap out of my life. <br/><br/>I've just started and there is a lot more to go, but I get it now. I understand how good it feels to have a plan and to set aside the time to make your home clutter free. It allows you to see a result and feel lighter with every box and bag that leaves your home. It allows you to LET GO. Not to mention the money it will save in the long run (yanno, like not owning FIFTEEN bottles of sunscreen because you don't realize you keep buying them).<br/><br/>So if you've been looking to de-clutter. If you're holding onto a bunch of stuff and/or looking for a few tips to make life a little simpler, stay tuned. I'm gonna provide pictures and tips and lots of cracks about some of the stupid choices I've made in my life (i.e. I'm pretty sure there was NEVER a time it was okay for me to wear a half top). And feel free to apply this as a metaphor to anything you need to get rid of in your life...I always do!<br/><br/><b>What do you need to de-clutter in your life?</b><br/><br/><br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=ab439832-2caa-8fc6-b8e8-a043cd6d4a30' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-31005316406868152432010-02-05T13:03:00.001-06:002010-02-11T13:53:09.492-06:00Beers and bourbon<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><div align='center'><a target='_top' href='http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9G_bF9TamxL4UUAPiOjzbkF/SIG=125sr5bdp/EXP=1265482707/**http%3a//www.flickr.com/photos/guilleroa/112823519/' id='aimgMain'><img height='188' width='250' src='http://farm1.static.flickr.com/19/112823519_076079f346.jpg' title='By guilleroa on Flickr' alt='View Image' style='margin-top: 34px; margin-left: 0px;' id='imageMain'/></a><br/></div><br/><br/>Last night I went to a bar by myself for a little while. It was one of those days and I didn't feel like drinking at home. Over a couple of hours I realized how much you can learn about your life over a shot of bourbon and a couple beers. If I'm home, I dwell in my own thoughts. Wrong night for that choice. <br/><br/>I'll rant about all the useless stuff in the world on this blog, but I don't complain about the real stuff on here. Actual problems and whatnot. I don't find anything wrong with doing that, it's just not me. Hell, half the people I genuinely consider friends don't know about my "problems". I'll lean on people, trust me. But there aren't many people I choose to lean on and I'm a fixer, not a bitch for no reason kind of girl. So without any details, let's just say...it was a rough day. All kinds of grown-up crap. Which leaves me at a bar, dealing with it the way I do. Think through it. Feel a little sorry for yourself for a few minutes. Move on. <br/><br/>A few years ago I had A LOT of these days. More sad moments than happy ones. More bar time than snuggie time. And back then, it was crippling. I let the rough days take over my life by putting on a happy face and powering through. That helped a whole lotta nothing because REAL emotion? Always catches up with you. This is truly the first time I've had to deal with anything real (personally) in a while. And I'll admit, I was more than a little nervous to see how I would handle the rough days if/when they came around again. So I drank a little. I thought about the day and what it meant. Situations where there aren't black and white answers. And you know what, I was okay. I was as honest with myself as I beg people to be with me. And it worked! I had a little bit of poor me time. I sat at that bar with the eff off look I've mastered when I'd just like a little solitude. And other than the dude that offered to give me a ride to a lesbian bar and promised to bring me back later (I wish that crap still shocked me), it was a great night. <br/><br/>The best part of the night was learning that the little life I've built really is as solid as I like to think it is. Most (especially the stupid) crap from my past is just that, the past. I'm finally the person I've always wanted to be. I have incredible friends that are there for me when the real stuff comes around. AND, I know without a doubt that anything I'm faced with today or in the future...I'll get through. Even if sometimes it takes a couple beers and a little bourbon. <br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=5fee7060-4ce6-8967-a29c-af23a82b7b8d' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-26132806495636099072010-02-04T14:06:00.010-06:002010-02-11T13:50:32.568-06:00I find it humorous that we still call it happy "hour"<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">I have this AMAZING blog in my head, but everything I've tried to write today has turned to mush. So I'm sticking with what I'm good at...showing up and drinking!!<br />
<br />
Taking a page from (or flat out copying) the DC bloggers handbook...imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, yes? Come join us next Wednesday to meet a few crazy bloggers from the big D. Since we have to drive across the metroplex to meet-up, I doubt we compete with the DC debauchery (aka:greatness). But with this group, I can guarantee we don't leave without a lot of laughs. <br />
<br />
<img alt="http://tobyspinks.com/images/nowittimeformyrealjob.jpg" height="319" src="http://tobyspinks.com/images/nowittimeformyrealjob.jpg" style="cursor: -moz-zoom-in;" width="228" /><br />
When: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 <a class="tweet-username" href="http://twitter.com/">@</a> 7:30 pm<br />
Where: Sherlock’s <a class="tweet-username" href="http://twitter.com/">@</a> Park and 75<br />
Who’s Coming: <a href="http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine" style="color: blue;">Shine</a>, <a href="http://gofahneroad.blogspot.com/" style="color: blue;">Gofahne</a>, <a href="http://artofthrowingstones.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: blue;">Graygrrr</span>l</a>, <a href="http://nataliecottrell.blogspot.com/" style="color: blue;">Natalie</a>, <a href="http://www.onewaydown.com/" style="color: blue;">Mary</a>, and <a href="http://www.carissajaded.com/">Carissa</a> (and you?)<br />
Email me at: <a href="mailto:gofahne@gmail.com" style="color: blue;">gofahne@gmail.com</a><span style="color: blue;"> </span>with any questions<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie"><img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=f21115d1-d305-886a-a3b3-a97144d1b9a2" /></div></div>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-54003996895137695312010-02-01T00:07:00.004-06:002010-02-11T13:50:32.568-06:00A Week in Review…random and useless is in the eye of the beholder<span xmlns=""></span><br />
Since my blog reading has now reached an unhealthy level of addiction, I've noticed that key to this whole writing/blogging thing is finding what works for you and consistency. Unfortunately for me, consistency is not something I find abundant in my life. So this is me working on it. The more you write, the more chance you have of writing something that really makes you proud or even better…makes a difference. This is not that post. It is however a written memory of my week and a few of the highlights that happened down my little road of life. It's a random ride and it won't change the world (today), but my life is nothing if not entertaining. <br />
<br />
<ul><li>I learned that when Ft Worth, TX says Stock Show and Rodeo, they mean that literally. It's not just a venue to hold a concert (which was the point of me going). There WILL be cows and weird things happening to goat's necks as you make your way back to a covered tent in 27 degree weather. And if you think it's a wise decision to leave your coat in the car…you and your "clearly from Dallas" friends will be very easy to spot. </li>
<li>I learned that if you post stupid things you do on facebook, you will receive the most comments of anything you ever post.</li>
<li>Not everyone wants or needs my advice every second of every day. It is okay to just listen and I plan to do a lot more of it. It's amazing what you can learn if you stop thinking YOU know what's best for everyone else.</li>
<li>I'm probably going to jail over Jersey Shore. Since I can't STAND that show or hearing about it constantly and have pledged to cut the next person that talks to me about it, I'm going to start putting aside a little money for bail…just in case.</li>
<li>I had a moment of complete and total happiness this week. I walked outside after work one day to the "after the rain smell" that I love. I was going to meet my friends for fun times + alcohol and cheese. And in that moment I realized, I don't know how it happened, but I'm having a bit of a love affair with my life. Then I laughed when I expected that I was one red slipper step away from a house falling on me. I'm a hopeless realist, what can I say.</li>
<li>Finding the DVR remote I thought I lost months ago makes for a very, very happy Sunday. It's the little things people.</li>
</ul>Finally I'd like to leave you with the gems I found across the internet this week. It's schmoopy soggy blog love for the people that made me laugh or made me a little better this week. This could also save you all from having to hear me say endlessly, "I totally agree! I was reading this blog and it will change your life…here's the link." So basically, I'm doing this for you. Try not to love me.<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://samdotcom.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/once-the-pain-is-gone/"><span style="color: red;">Once The Pain Is Gone « Sam Dot Com</span></a> - truth will get you everywhere</li>
<li><a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/2010/01/finding-your-e-voice-and-maybe-just-maybe-the-zack-to-your-slater.html"><span style="color: red;">Finding-your-e-voice-and-maybe-just-maybe-the-zack-to-your-slater << LivItLuvIt</span></a> – LiLu can find a way to tie Save By the Bell references and polygamy together and still make an amazing point</li>
<li><a href="http://www.carissajaded.com/2010/01/the-time-i-was-almost-on-a-reality-show-and-the-most-i-will-ever-share-on-my-blog-probably/"><span style="color: red;">The-time-i-was-almost-on-a-reality-show-and-the-most-i-will-ever-share-on-my-blog-probably << CarissaJaded</span></a> – An accomplishment and the kind of honesty I'd always like to have</li>
<li><a href="http://www.whitecollarredneck.com/"><span style="color: red;">Whitecollarredneck.com</span></a> – new (to me) blog I found this week by way of Shine (how I find every blog), it doesn't matter which one you read…they are ALL hilarious</li>
</ul>Well that's it kiddos. My week in a nut shell. Time to look Monday square in the face and probably get a round house kick in the rear because of all the positive in this post.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-18216619892400473402010-01-28T12:24:00.006-06:002010-02-11T13:49:47.832-06:00I rocked it hard.Since we're all five year olds and I've learned that a good TWSS double entendre will get you everywhere, you're welcome.<br />
<br />
This post however, is about rock climbing…sort of. Thought it was something else? Yeah, I figured…but stick around. Something cool happened!<br />
<br />
A few months ago I started rock climbing. I've only been a few times, but I love it. It's a great workout and all that jazz, but there is something so much more to that wall. It's what I think everyone is talking about with Yoga, but Yoga just makes me feel crazy for trying to be a tree or a downward facing bitch or something. Rock climbing is just kind of…bad ass. I'm constantly amazed by the walls my friends lady handle (oh yeah, it's a new phrase I'll be using a lot – Thanks Laura!) and the routes the crazy dudes climb in that gym. What is NOT awesome is my debilitating fear of heights. While I do enjoy the gift of exaggeration, I'm not even slightly exaggerating about this little gem of me. A couple of the routes I climbed left <a href="http://www.ishineoutloud.com/shine/" style="color: red;">Shine</a> down on the ground watching as my legs trembled uncontrollably and I almost burst out into tears. In a weird way it had nothing to do with falling or even heights. It had to do with control or more importantly…letting go of control.<br />
<br />
I hide behind fear to keep control. Ouch, that hurt. The first time I got to the top of the wall, I wouldn't let go. It was explained to me about 1800 times that I could only fall the same distance as the amount of slack in the rope. With my non-stop yelling to take the slack out of the rope, that meant about 2 feet at most. I didn't care. I physically could not let go of that wall. On the wall, I was safe. On the wall, I had control. I'm sure you see the problem though, right? I was still on a wall, THIRTY feet in the air. I was more afraid of what happened when I let go than I was if I stayed right where I was. I was more content to keep fighting to hold on and to tire out my body than I was to sit back and trust that the rope and my friend would keep me from a free fall. I said I couldn't let go. <i>Actually</i> I kind of yelled that Shine was insane if she thought I was GOING to let go. Fortunately, I did finally shut up and I let go. You know what? I was fine. More than fine. I got back down to the ground and I was in one piece. I'd climbed the wall, I'd let go of the wall, and I was still standing on my own two feet. I also knew that wall changed me.<br />
<br />
FYI…yelling, almost crying, and BARELY letting go of the wall is NOT my idea of rocking anything. I'm getting there. Rock climbing did something for me that NOTHING physical has done since I quit skating. Skating made me let go. Every time I touched the ice, I was a different person. You could see it transform me. And I KNOW that's why I was damn good at it. I sincerely believe that our physical being tells us what our emotional self just can't or won't say out loud. No, I'm not a hippie. Just listen. We spend our lives building a protective shell around us. At least I have. Every time I went through something difficult, I just threw on another layer. What I didn't realize is how much that shell started to change who I am. I am an extremely positive person. I believe the absolute best in people all the time. I'm also let down a lot. But instead of realizing that failure was about THEM and not ME, I took it as something I needed to change. Become tougher, harder, bitter.<br />
<br />
I was wrong. That's not me. I'm the one who throws up a hail mary pass 50 times just for the few that make it worth it. Like Brett Favre, without "retirement". So yesterday, I decided to get a little of me back. Before I got on the wall, I just decided to stop being afraid. Fear wasn't helping me. Bobism (aka: my dad's advice) #489 – Just get over it. And guess what? I did. I climbed routes I've never climbed. I didn't pause. I didn't get scared. I pushed through when I thought my body couldn't do it and I rocked it…HARD. It was incredible. <br />
<br />
This is a snippet from <a href="http://www.kvministries.com/blog/2008/05/fear-is-a-prison/" style="color: red;">Jason Vallotton's, Fear is a Prison</a>… "Fear is a prison; it's no one's friend. Even powerful people deal with fear. But for them, fear is an enemy." Take this with you today and whatever you're afraid of, LET IT GO. What's on the other side is completely worth it and what you let go of won't be any less a part of you than it was before. It got you to the top of the wall didn't it?Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-20094304227751147342010-01-20T15:36:00.005-06:002010-02-11T13:53:38.334-06:00LOVE HarderI stumbled upon this blogging community by happenstance. Now I get it. We are not just a bunch of people writing our daily thoughts and giggles, we are a community filled with love. <br />
<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago, we all rallied around <a href="http://brainyjane22.wordpress.com/"><span style="background-color: white; color: blue;">Brandy.</span> </a>She is an amazing writer, teacher and woman who fell deeply in love with a man (known as H.A.D. to the internets). He has recently been diagnosed with multiple myeloma. You can read the original rally of support for her<span style="color: red;"> </span><a href="http://gofahneroad.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-this-little-blog-thing-is-all.html"><span style="color: red;">HERE.</span></a> Today a great big group of us are offering a lot more than just our prayers and getting the word out to Love Harder. We hope to do a lot with a little, as helpless has become a part of our daily vocabulary and we've HAD IT. <br />
<br />
PLEASE read the information below. If it tugs at your heart the way it’s tugged at mine and many in our little internet community, then give as you can….happy thoughts, prayers, a loving message, or otherwise. There is a HILARIOUS video too, so at the very least make you smile. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">~*~*~*~<br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">The quandry: We feel terrible. Just horrible. And oh so helpless... if only there was something we could DO for them. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">The answer: Ummmm. Did you forget that WE ARE THE INTERNET?!?!!??! And also, Yes We Can!!!<br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">The result: Brandy and your Hot Awesome Dude... this one's for you. Love, The Internet.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcR9Q_1ucc0"><span style="color: blue;">CLICK HERE!!! These sweet peeps live in all different states and yet they made this!!</span></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>Our Plea</strong><br />
</div><br />
Our friend Brandy is a brilliant writer, a wonderful teacher, and a generous friend. And she is in love with a man who has just been diagnosed with multiple myeloma.<br />
<br />
We are raising money for the Multiple Myeloma Research Fund in his name. For the price of a cinnamon dolce latte, half-caf, hold the whip, you can be part of an effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.loveharder.org/"><span style="color: red;">CLICK HERE TO GIVE - http://www.loveharder.org/</span></a><br />
<br />
Every dollar brings us a dollar closer to a cure. And every donation brings a sliver of hope to a girl who needs all the hope she can get.<br />
<strong>What YOU Can Do</strong><br />
<br />
Give. Be part of a worldwide effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide. Every dollar helps.<br />
<br />
Pass it on. Forward this story to five people. Share this blog post. Become our fan on Facebook.<br />
<br />
Love harder. Life is short, love is unbending, and no one knows what could happen next. Tell someone you love them today.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Where Your Money Goes</strong><br />
<br />
The American Institute of Philanthropy recently named The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation one of the best organizations to give to in terms of their accountability and use of resources.<br />
<br />
By working closely with researchers, clinicians and partners in the biotech and pharmaceutical industry, the MMRF has helped bring multiple myeloma patients four new treatments that are extending lives around the globe.<br />
<br />
The MMRF has advanced twenty Phase I and Phase II clinical trials. They need your support to advance these clinical research programs and accelerate the development of better, more effective treatments.<br />
<br />
The MMRF's Multiple Myeloma Genomics Initiative recently became the first to sequence the multiple myeloma whole genome in its entirety.<br />
<br />
A whopping 98% of your donation to the MMRF will be used immediately to support high-priority multiple myeloma research.<br />
<br />
With diminishing funding for early stage drug development and the next myeloma treatments not expected to be approved until 2011, the MMRF desperately needs your help.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">~*~*~*~<br />
</div> <br />
NO ONE should have to go through this. I do not understand it. Any of it. I have another VERY DEAR friend, whom I love, going through this with her incredible mother (although it is a different form of cancer). I find myself crying just writing this post and I feel helpless all the time. But I can give and I can spread the word, so I do. Whatever is in your heart, please follow it. Hug tighter, kiss longer, and LOVE HARDER with us today. <br />
<br />
DONATE: <a href="http://www.loveharder.org/"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.loveharder.org/</span></a><br />
CONTACT: <a href="mailto:theloveharderfund@gmail.com"><span style="color: blue;">theloveharderfund@gmail.com</span></a><br />
FACEBOOK: <a href="http://facebook.loveharder.org/"><span style="color: blue;">http://facebook.loveharder.org/</span></a><br />
MORE INFO: <a href="http://www.themmrf.org/"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.themmrf.org</span></a><br />
<br />
Love Harder, <br />
GofahneDiscover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-77618871197099202112010-01-15T14:00:00.003-06:002010-02-11T13:49:35.726-06:00UN-guilty pleasures<span xmlns=""></span><br />
I give all credit to <a href="http://artofthrowingstones.blogspot.com/2009/12/this-post-was-supposed-to-be-another.html"><span style="color: red;">Bevin's post</span></a> for this idea, but it was genius. <br />
<br />
We all have guilty pleasures. By definition*, it's something you shouldn't like, but like anyway. I'm sure this will send shock and awe through all three of my readers**, but here on <a href="http://gofahneroad.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: red;">Gofahne Road</span></a> I don't really care much about the "should and should not" likes that are accepted or "normal". I yam what I yam, I like what I like, and I'll probably talk your ear off for an hour defending it without a single fact and LOTS of self justification if you let me. However, the little idiosyncrasies that make me, well me…are nothing short of hilarious. <br />
<br />
So for your random reading enjoyment, here is a "short" list of those UN-guilty pleasures of mine. Shake your head, roll your eyes, or thank your lucky stars there is only one of me. There just isn't room enough for two of me on this planet or any other.<br />
<ul><li>Lists – I don't kind of like lists. I LOVE them. I love organizing anything into bullet points and the cheap thrill of checking off something from the "to do" to the DONE list. The amount of happiness I get from this little accomplishment is easily deserving of a therapy session or twelve. <br />
</li>
<li>The Snuggie – Take my word from experience…don't rag on anyone until you try it. I did and then I got giddy like a school girl the moment I was wrapped up in one for football watching. Commence non-stop barrage of comments reminding me of my previous opinion. I immediately purchased my own and there are few things I'm willing to list as more fun than "time in snuggie" now. <br />
</li>
<li>The Big Bang Theory – Not the ACTUAL theory, the television show. If you haven't watched this gem yet, DO IT. It's a very new development in my life, but it now falls firmly in the things I adore category. I watched all three seasons in one weekend. <br />
</li>
<li>Animated Movies – Pretty much every.single.one. I don't have kids. I'm a grown adult and I will watch Bolt multiple times in a week. I'd love to spend more time with my niece and nephews so I wouldn't feel like a fool for knowing almost every line to Madagascar. Even then, I own more Pixar, Disney, and Dreamworks than I could ever pass off as "oh, the sweet little ones just left those here". And dammit if Cars doesn't make me cry every time Lightning McQueen, Mater and Doc bond at the end of the movie. <br />
</li>
<li>Dancing (interchangeable with skating, but ice hurts a lot more as you get older) – Yeah, yeah…dancing itself is not a guilty pleasure. Lots of peeps love to dance. But it was pointed out to me this week that I like to overanalyze things to a degree that would make Jerry Springer directors tired. Yet when I'm on the dance floor you wouldn't know I had a care in the world. Reckless abandon, no shame, and busting out every move to "Beat It" could be the moment I would die for. <br />
</li>
<li>Kate Voegele, Ingrid Michaelson, Jason Mraz, Michael Buble, Glee, and Miley Cyrus – also known as musicians I hate to admit I listen to all day long at work. These peeps can take my day from mediocre to incredible in a few crescendos. If you don't know them or you are already judging me, I don't blame you. I blame Pandora. Select Glee as your music station and start bopping your head. That's how I found the first two and started an accidental love affair with all of them. Just to add to my shame KV is from One Tree Hill. A show I REFUSE to watch. <br />
</li>
<li>Acronyms – No misleading or double meaning on this one. Acronyms, words formed from the initial letters of several words, make me happy as a clam (Are clams extraordinarily happy or something? To be googled another day). Gofahne? Acronym. FAB, name of our bi-monthly girls' night out? Acronym. It's like having some sort of secret code or pig latin. No actual code or language, no importance of any kind, and yet I feel like a genius with every new word or almost word. <br />
</li>
<li>Mark Wahlberg – Yes, Marky Mark. Make your jokes. Pants dropping or Departed/Four Brothers bad ace, I am in love. Of course he's easy on the eyes, but it's in the shoulders ladies and gents. Strong shoulders on a man = HOT. I will watch every movie he makes from now until my student movie discount turns to senior appreciation cheap. </li>
</ul><br />
That's it (for today) kids. The dirty little secrets that I'm just not ashamed enough to keep from the internets any longer. Enjoy! <br />
<br />
Did you think I wouldn't ask? So….UN-guilty pleasures…got any? <br />
<br />
<br />
*Thanks urban dictionary, what would I do without your simple and typically useless explanations?<br />
**This is modesty, not in any way ungrateful…I'm genuinely shocked that anyone reads this little blog.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-4163161438011685362010-01-13T13:43:00.001-06:002010-02-11T13:52:15.490-06:00Square Peg, Round Hole<span xmlns=''><p>As a solid singleton at this point, who better to give relationship advice than me? Clearly my track record with relationships qualifies me, no? Don't follow the logic, that's alright. But stick with me…I just might be on to something here. <br /></p><p>Tell me if you've heard this one before: "Relationships are complicated." If you haven't, you're probably in high school or dead. Either way this blog won't have much to offer you and you certainly won't LOL or IDK anything with your BFF. However, for the rest of you, I'm starting to think relationships aren't really complicated at all. WE are complicated and we make an otherwise simple idea incredibly complex. <br /></p><p><span style='text-decoration:line-through'>For longer than I'd like to admit</span> Lately, I've been observing relationships. Sitting on my little perch in the land of my very own space and no one else to blame to the TP roll being bare, I've noticed a lot. People you'd never expect fit together in the strangest ways. The relationship you feel just HAS to work, doesn't always turn out that way. It's my personal opinion that God is a comedian. Give Him your "idea" and he'll just laugh as He sends a tornado of WTH just happened to shred it to pieces. Maybe you know yourself pretty well, but what if this "you" is an ever changing thing? What worked or what you thought worked perfectly in the beginning, may no longer be the case. Every person you meet and experience you have changes you a little. They leave a footprint on your life and you are different for that experience. The key is to finding the people that make you better. It shouldn't be forced. You shouldn't have to convince yourself on a daily basis not to fly off the handle because ONCE again they've annoyed the holy tar out of you. <br /></p><p>Now, I'm not claiming black and white here. This isn't, we had a fight so I'm out! This is an overall objective look at a relationship. The realization that no matter how much you want it to work, a square peg just doesn't fit in a round hole without an Apollo 13 team grabbing every resource to squeeze and twist every last idea they have to make it work. And yes, you could argue that Apollo 13 was an amazing mission. They made the impossible a reality. But, the key to my metaphor is (yeah, I'm amazed there is a point too), they never made it to the moon. It was survival, not accomplishment. <br /></p><p>We are all puzzle pieces. On our own we are a bunch of weird looking jigsaws that don't make much sense. You can try 15 times to get that bubble looking T shape to go against a flat edge, but you'll finally realize that curved C is where it belonged all along. While there is A LOT to be said for the process of trying every option and finding the best fit, when you realize it's time to change strategies? Change them! You may not find the fit where you expected and you certainly may not see the big picture right away, but at the end it's a masterpiece. The right move was the simple one, you just didn't know it at the time.</p></span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-30100293727497063422010-01-11T13:52:00.003-06:002010-02-11T13:54:00.125-06:00My Cup Runneth Over…aka: The one that might make you puke<span xmlns=""></span><br />
2010 has gone done* and knocked me upside the head in the best possible way. <br />
<br />
My <a href="http://gofahneroad.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-2009-got-me-to-thinking.html"><span style="color: #cc0000;">last post</span></a> was a little ho hum for Gofhane style. I certainly wasn't complaining (there are plenty of those rants to come), but it was the end of the year. A time for reflection and I just didn't feel like anything was necessarily note worthy. It wasn't a year of ups and downs, like so many previous years had been. I didn't have some huge accomplishment I could frame on my wall that year or even someone to share the not so important moments with when I laid my head to rest at night. So I thought I'd somehow "matured" and realized that sometimes life just isn't all that exciting. <br />
<br />
Puuuh-lease. Like some sort of universe challenge, the New Year has already been nice enough to put chocolate on that leather shoe as she** smirked and shoved it right down my little throat. <br />
<br />
I spent the last week living up the last birthday of my 20's. I think I'd been so caught up in the "almost 30" category that I was almost willing to let this last little number 29 slip right by. It didn't. My friends stepped up in ways I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams. I went to a Stars game with a friend of 16 years. I went with four lovely ladies to the Cowboys/Eagles SHUT OUT that Sunday and got the treatment of a queen. Free drinks, amazing seats, free food and VIP parking. All that without even mentioning that the company itself would've made nose bleed seats feel like Jerry's suite. Then an impromptu gathering of friends on my actual day was met with shots and rock star karaoke and a complete stranger singing, "Simply the best" to me. And last, but certainly not least, the gathering I actually planned happened last Friday. Over 30 friends and family members showed up to celebrate my life with me. Family that has seen it all, friendships with years of laugh lines, and other relationships I made or grew just within 2009. They all represent my life. This unbelievably supportive group of people is my life's scrapbook. And it is damn fine looking if I do say so myself. <br />
<br />
All of this happened in celebration of one day of my life. The only showers I have are to wake up in the morning. I've never had a ring on my hand that I didn't buy myself. There aren't really lifetime achievement celebrations for the single ladies. But I just don't believe that is the only success in life. I have a family that loves me. I have friends that come out to celebrate this silly narcissistic day with me once a year even when it's FREEZING ace cold outside. I have a bazillion acquaintances/friends that spent a moment that day on FB or through email, just to share a little love for me. And I said that not much really happened in 2009. So THIS little post is me, EATING.MY.WORDS.<br />
<br />
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for an amazing start to 2010. Thank you for humbling me in the best way possible. My cup runneth over for every single one of you. MWAH!!! <br />
<br />
*I'm from Texas. We talk how we like.<br />
**Like a year bad ace enough to smirk at you wouldn't be a woman.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-22766296066066250452009-12-30T08:44:00.001-06:002010-02-11T13:49:31.679-06:00What 2009 got me to thinking…<span xmlns=''><p>2010 is starting in just a couple short days. How did that happen? Weren't we JUST partying like it was 1999? I have a hard time remembering how long ago that really was and I barely recognize the naïve little 19 year old girl I was when that song was popular (in real time, NOT as a throwback ya whippersnappers!).<br /></p><p>I do remember my last New Year's Eve though. NYE 2008! I remember going to the fancy American Airlines Center, standing in the cold, watching an 80's cover band with new friends, losing my keys AND my ID even though I wasn't drunk, and sitting at IHOP around 2am thinking 2009 had a new air about it that was going to make it…magnificent. <br /></p><p>The review? 2009 happened.<br /></p><p>Don't get me wrong, amazing things went down. I got to know myself better, I stood up for myself in ways I never thought I would, I watched a friend get married, I watched another move away, I watched divorces and break-ups happen around me, and I made/grew a few friendships that I'm not completely sure how I made it to 2009 without cultivating earlier. <br /></p><p>But as I was eating my pasta with healthy alfredo sauce (yeah, you heard me..it's DELICIOUS) in my pj's last night, I realized the year wasn't "magnificent". It was peppered with a whole lot of great and may be the foundation for some yet to be seen OHMYGODCANYOUBELIEVETHATYEARHAPPENED ahead in 2010, but if it's not…I'm content. <br /></p><p>Something about that word, content, always gets me to thinking. It seems like settling. Like the fact that all I mentioned was "2009 happened" is some sort of defeat. Questions arise like: Did I not smell the roses enough or put myself out there enough or change the world? It doesn't mean that to me at all anymore. Somehow out of the wreckage of the last few years, I had this really great year of completely content. Maybe that is what getting a little older (am I being too brave by saying wiser?) is about anyway. Contentment is the thing I'm constantly amazed by when looking at my grandparents. They have this ability to live year after year completely content with their lives and a collection of new memories. It doesn't take a major event to define them. The simplicity is beautiful. <br /></p><p>On Christmas Eve I sat in my little apartment curled up with holiday movies. Christmas day, after watching the ADORB nephews and niece open their gifts, I had a blast watching movies and drinking heavily and playing WII cheer with <a href='http://www.onewaydown.com/'>OOWD</a>, <a href='http://www.thepqnation.com/shine/'>Shine</a>, and <a href='http://nataliecottrell.blogspot.com/'>Pretty Bitch</a>. I didn't feel like my day was less because it wasn't some traditional life I thought I'd be living a year ago. That day, this year…my life finally fits me. Like a comfy sweatshirt or the PERFECT T-shirt you've finally worn enough times it just hugs your body when you slip into it or a Snuggie!<br /></p><p>I'd love to think somehow I gained immeasurable wisdom in this last year, but I'd venture to guess I did not. I think the more we try to define our lives by grand events or milestones, the more disappointed we become. So without disappointment, I say 2009 happened. And without expectation, I'll welcome 2010 in downtown big D again with different perspective. I'll consider myself lucky if I get to say at the end of next year, 2010 happened and it was a good one…again!<br /></p><p>Happy New Year!<br /></p><p><br /> </p></span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-10944696660810068182009-12-28T10:06:00.001-06:002010-02-11T13:54:09.688-06:00What this ‘little’ blog thing is all about…<span xmlns=''><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>There are plenty of jokes about this "little" blog thing many of us write. I'm lucky to have friends that not only accept it, but push me to write more even when I think my writing can be crap. Today, I got a little reminder of why I started writing at all a few months ago and what this blog community means to so many of us. I don't know the young lady who wrote the post below, but I care about her. I've come across her posts from time to time. Today I was sent back to her site through other blog posts of e-friends I don't know well either, but it all connects. We all connect. Our suffering, our happiness, our laughs and our tears (whether they are on a blog or in the real world)…connect us. Sometimes we just need a little optimism. A thought that says we WILL make it through whatever "this" is and we will be okay on the other side. Some days I need the support, other days my friends do, and today it's a friend I've never met. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>Please read her post below and lift up whatever thoughts or prayers you're willing to offer. If you know anything about what she is going through, the link to her blog will connect you to her in a click. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>This is what this "little" world is all about. These amazing people put out their laughs and tears, in writing for the whole world to see, with courage. I hope you will read this and hug someone a little tighter today. <br /></span></p><p style='text-align: center'><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<br /></span></p><p><br /> </p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>My name is brandy. And I have a <a target='_blank' href='http://brainyjane22.wordpress.com/'><span style='color:blue; text-decoration:underline'>blog</span></a>.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>And a plea.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart. This cancer <em>is only a possibility </em>and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.<br /></span></p><p><span style='font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:12pt'>I did.<br /></span></p></span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-76761135093143643912009-12-08T23:05:00.003-06:002010-02-11T13:54:24.303-06:00A new layout, Nora Ephron nailing it, and finding inspiration in the strangest places.<span xmlns=""></span><br />
If this is your first visit, welcome. Where the heck have you been? If not, maybe you noticed a change or twelve around here. I found a new layout I love (coffee and swirly décor? What's not to like!), even if there is a giant life sized pen. I decided a new layout needed a few refreshed perks, so I went all go-go gadget on my page and here's the new look. However, almost everything I do has a reason behind it. And sometimes it even makes sense! Last night, it was Nora Ephron. <br />
<br />
I was watching an interview with Nora Ephron last night. She made this little side comment, "everything is copy*" and I ever so eloquently said, "huh?" As she explained I suddenly realized, she nailed it! Me. In three little words, she described how I think about almost everything. This (whatever your "this" is) all seems terrible right now, but someday it will make a very funny story. Not everyone thinks that way. I won't claim that it's always easy, but I can tell you it makes life easier. It's how I keep a positive attitude when I just shouldn't and how I can laugh the day after I get a <a href="http://bit.ly/5BDZRR"><span style="color: #cc0000;">pork chop rubbed on me</span></a>. Because all this mess right now? It will pass. Time will heal. You will laugh again. Sometimes you'll get to laugh tomorrow and sometimes it will take much longer, but it will all be okay. The story telling part of those little words isn't for everyone. <a href="http://nataliecottrell.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Natalie</span></a><span style="color: #cc0000;">, </span><a href="http://meshealle.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Shine</span></a>, and I have chatted about this many times over IM (or wine, or beer, or dancing). We all think in stories. Not that I know what that means or if it's even abnormal, but I never think "I went on this date and it didn't go well". I catalogue every detail. I sit back and watch, almost from an outside perspective. Words are my pictures, my memories, and my comfort when everything else seems to be falling apart. <br />
<br />
So that's why I write this little blog. These stories are little insights into my world. It's the copy of my life. Thank you for reading these rambles and rants. Thank you for helping me remember that one day, this will all make for a great laugh. It makes the tears, the heart ache, and the randomness of it all seem so much more tolerable. <br />
<br />
Until last night, I didn't have a drop of inspiration. Literally, nothing. I couldn't create a funny or creative line in my head for days. Then I popped in a DVD, watched the special features, and found a few little words that perked this little road I'm on right up. Thanks again Nora! So my point… yes, there IS a point. Open your eyes whenever you can and find the laughter going on around you. It's there no matter what you're going through or how crazy your life seems. Just take a minute to step back and see it, you might just find yourself... inspired. <br />
<br />
*You can watch/read her explanation <a href="http://www.icue.com/portal/site/iCue/flatview/?cuecard=35850"><span style="color: #cc0000;">here.</span></a> Who doesn't love an 80's flashback? Oh, the hair.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-55978639292408182952009-12-02T11:13:00.011-06:002010-02-11T13:54:24.304-06:0030 improvements before the big 3-0!<span xmlns=""></span><br />
We've (me and the mouse in my pocket) covered this, but I am an <a href="http://bit.ly/4zZ8uk">extremist</a>. I'm trying VERY hard to keep it in check, with the <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">constant yelling</span> help of a few great friends. However, to accomplish anything in my life… I need goals. I was a competitive ice skater for most of my life and working towards no "end" goal makes little sense to me. I admire those that can. I'm just not one of them. Goals, lists, and future accomplishments make me a very, very happy lady. The problem? I always set unrealistic goals that lead to failure. Lately I've read and discussed, ad nauseum, the benefits of small attainable goals in any life change. I've never set small goals because I don't see them as accomplishments. Also, I haven't had much success with change. These two things could be related, no. So last night, little miss Capricorn took control. A controlling Capricorn. Shocker. That ain't news no more. <br />
<br />
You should also know, I'm a numbers GEEK. If I can get numbers to mold to my goals, we reached a version of nirvana in my little world. <br />
<br />
Last night's internal dialogue:<br />
<br />
"Gofahne, get a grip. You've already accomplished a lot in a short couple of weeks. How do you keep this going and NOT freak the eff out? Lifestyle change woman, lifestyle. NOT quick fix. You're about to be 29, so what if you took the next year to improve your life health wise? I like it! I've already made 6 small changes in the past couple of weeks, I'll list those (because who doesn't love to start a list with things ALREADY checked off?). That leaves 24 more. There are 55 weeks until I'm 30, minus the two Christmas weeks, one more TG week next year, and the week of my 29<sup>th</sup> birthday (because let's be real, I'm not doing ANYTHING healthy on those weeks) = 51 weeks. 51? Not prime, divisible by three, perfection. So for 17 of the remaining goals, I'll make one small change every 3 weeks (just enough time to create a habit – tell me this wasn't destiny). Each change will build on the other changes. Then that leaves me with 7 slightly bigger goals. What's a list without overall goals as well? Voila! You have the Gofahne list of 30 improvements before the big 3-0!!*"<br />
<br />
I was planning to keep all of this to myself, but my awesome co-worker suggested posting my little list would make people laugh, possibly inspire, and be a super fun blog. Not a bad thought. So here it is… the starting list. Every time I make a new goal, I'll update the list and notate the accomplishment before it. Then we'll see where I end up in a year. Anyone else excited? No? Just me? That will work!<br />
<ol><li>Eat GH healthy soup a few times a week – <em>habit formed 11/27</em><br />
</li>
<li>Move my butt more – <em>habit formed 11/27<br />
</em></li>
<li>Drink more water – <em>habit formed 11/27</em><br />
</li>
<li><strike>No alcohol for two weeks until Shine's birthday fiesta!</strike> - <em>had 2.5 glasses of wine during the two week period (full disclosure: in one evening); good enough for me as of 12/10</em></li>
<li>Workout 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week – started 11/30, goal date 12/12<br />
</li>
<li>Bring my lunch to work 4/5 days during the week – started 11/30, goal date 12/12<br />
</li>
<li><em>Add some form of resistance or non-cardio training into workouts, 3 times per week – started 12/13, goal date 01/16</em> </li>
</ol> 23. <em>Dec 5th, 2010- Dec 31st goal – TBD</em><br />
<em> </em><br />
<em> </em>24-26. (3) other overall health improvement goals<br />
27. Complete P90X at some point throughout the year<br />
28. Complete a 10k run<br />
29. Lose 30 pounds by the big 3-0<br />
30. Wear "the" jeans on my 30<sup>th</sup> birthday<br />
<br />
"The" jeans are my happy jeans. Every girl has them tucked away in her closet. So I thought… great 30<sup>th</sup> birthday present to myself! <br />
<br />
Enjoy a laugh or twelve about my crazy and then "look forward" to my little journey over the next year. I am! I've left plenty of room for more time if a habit proves harder to form than just three weeks allows and I'm excited about what I could learn from this! <br />
<br />
Anything you've wanted to change about you that a <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">crazy</span> fun list might help?<br />
<br />
*Seriously, spend a day in my head and you'd be exhausted.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-54987611505317871952009-11-30T14:08:00.004-06:002010-02-11T13:48:43.865-06:00It’s time for a rant…<span xmlns=""></span><br />
Alright, we've passed it. The time where we are all supposed to be thankful and happy and grateful and here is my giant Bah-hum-bug before we loop back around to Christmas and I sound ungrateful. I HEART Thanksgiving, but a "I'm so thankful for the world" seemed more than fake this year. Thus a perfectly timed rant to end my <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">failed</span> revamped <a href="http://www.blogger.com/bit.ly/4AcrxC">NaNu NaNu Challenge</a> is most definitely necessary. <br />
<br />
Fussing. Please kindly QUIT. <br />
<br />
My family is wonderful. I'd never say another word beyond that if they weren't also HOLY annoying with the fussing. The caring, I get it. The wanting everyone to be happy, I get it. But, they're also the fussiest group of people I've.Ever.Met. Now, I'm aware of my shortcomings. If I forget, I assure you my friends will remind me quickly. I am stubborn and over-the-top independent. I don't like things to be done for me because I actually ENJOY doing them on my own. If I really don't want to get up and get a napkin, I have NO problem asking someone to get it for me (kindly). This goes against everything my family does. Here is the exchange on Thanksgiving between me, my aunt, and my mom**:<br />
<br />
Aunt: "Honey, did you get what you wanted to drink?"<br />
Me: "Yep, Crown poured and tasty. Thank you."<br />
Mom: "Are you sure you don't want some water?"<br />
Me: "Yep."<br />
Aunt: "Why didn't you get any turkey with your food?"<br />
Me: "I say this every year, but turkey just gets in the way of the casseroles. I'm pretty sure I have enough here to feed a large army. I'm good."<br />
Aunt: "Are you sure?"<br />
Me: "Let's just do this and save some time. My legs function perfectly fine. My butt could use the extra ten steps to the kitchen if I need anything. So why don't we just assume that IF I need something, I'll be happy to get it. Okay?"<br />
Aunt, Mom: "Hahahaha (in the most passive aggressive manner possible*). Okay."<br />
<br />
Multiply that conversation by the 8 people they're checking on all day and the 24 hours I spent at the house… and you have the Thanksgiving equation that makes me want to tear every hair from head one-by-one. It was a beautiful holiday and being loved is not something to complain about, but when you choose to force feed it to me? I have the right to vomit. Or throw a temper tantrum. Or force a blog on my unsuspecting readers out of nowhere. Also, my family knows me. I've never hidden my personality. They know I have no issue sharing my opinion. Do they really believe that if I was offended by no water or pissed that I forgot my meat that I wouldn't pipe up? Me thinks not.<br />
<br />
So to my incredible aunt, my awesome mom, the nagging girlfriends of the world, and the woman I saw at the airport WIPING her husband's mouth with a napkin… He/she/it is a grown ass man/woman/thing. LET THEM BE! And the first time you hear me complain about someone not asking me if I'm okay or how I feel? Feel free to slap the shiz out of me immediately. <br />
<br />
*Don't even get me started on my lack of tolerance for passive-aggressive behavior.<br />
**Thank you GG. Chill out smart man.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-61258187085835584592009-11-13T12:50:00.004-06:002010-02-11T13:54:24.304-06:00A little of this, and a little of that…<span xmlns=""></span><br />
I heart the Osmonds for many reasons (over the top, completely unnecessary, and fabulously entertaining…then and now), but today it's for the little classic, <a href="http://www.mp3lyrics.org/d/donny-marie-osmond/a-little-bit-country/">"A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock N Roll".</a> Not just because it's cute and catchy and WILL remain in your head for a full day no matter how hard you try to get.it.out. But also because, it's me. I'm just a little of this, and a little of that. The problem? I'm ONE person, not two. I just don't know which of "me" I'm supposed to follow sometimes. <br />
<br />
<ul><li>I'd jump on a plane tomorrow and fly out of town with not one clue as to what I'd do when I got there, but I'm "celebrating" my 10 year anniversary at my job next April and I've NEVER jumped on a plane with no idea what to expect (yet). </li>
<li>I SWOON at lady porn (aka: chick flicks) and all the stories of the sweet little nothings my friends get in good relationships, but I freak-out-faster-than-nascar-pit-teams-change-tires when someone does those things for me.</li>
<li>I love country and LOATHE rap, but a thong song-esque beat comes on in a club and I'll shake my money maker like it's my job (and you'll wonder which of my parents LIED to me because clearly my momma was NOT white).</li>
<li>I'm a Christian, but some of my CLOSEST friends do not share my beliefs and I 100% believe we are BOTH "right".</li>
<li>I will GO OFF on someone that doesn't treat my friends with the utmost respect and admiration, but I don't demand the same for myself (I WILL soon enough Mr. Future boyfriend). </li>
<li>I HATE pickles and tomatoes, but you hand me tomato basil soup or fried pickles with a little ranch and I.AM.YOURS. (and please don't mention that I'll eat an entire pickle at the movie theatre out of habit)</li>
<li>I have a "life list" and a ridiculously detailed budget that I maintain with EQUAL passion.</li>
<li>I made bullet points on a post about LIVING it up a little more.</li>
</ul>I'd love to consider myself the best of both worlds and use pretty words like diverse, intricate, or unique. But I don't know if that's the truth. Sometimes I think we're all battling two people. The person we want to be and the person we are. Maybe that struggle is what makes for GREAT people, but there are days when it wears me the eff out. It's not just about the money (although that contributes a lot, I ENJOY paying my bills on time yo). It's also about taking the leap. Leaving what's good enough for a dream of what could be great. And when you get there? Is it great? Or does it just become the "good enough" you had before you got to what you thought would be great? <br />
<br />
I hope this is just about spending a little more time in self discovery and finding balance. I hope one day I FINALLY let go of all the "have to" items and jump without expectation or worry into the "let's see what happens" way of life. But for now, I'm sitting with the Osmonds. Singing a catchy tune in an outfit with a little too much glitter and willing myself to give anything a shot… at least once… Maybe.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-59313470831156732292009-11-12T14:02:00.001-06:002010-02-11T13:54:50.790-06:00Riddle me this. Who am I? The tortoise or the Hare.<span xmlns=''><p>[This entry is brought to you courtesy of CD Beaver and Dixie's inspiration… as well as the letters S, T, and V]<br /></p><p>"Hi, I'm Gofhane and I am an extremist."<br /></p><p>"Hiiii Gofahne" (monotone and in unison). <br /></p><p>THAT is the kind of support group I need to find with a quickness. It turns out I can't DO anything half way and I can't COMPLETE anything all the way. As you all know, I recently started the self-named <a href='http://bit.ly/4AcrxC'>NaNu NaNu Challenge</a>. I thought I was being all creative and fancy based on my exact thoughts when <a href='http://meshealle.blogspot.com/'>Shine</a> told me about <a href='http://www.nanowrimo.org/'>NaNoWriMo</a> last month. Well, I wasn't. The exact challenge I issued myself, happens this month on blogs everywhere (I'm new to this whole blog thing, so kindly hush) and it's called <a href='http://www.nablopomo.com/'>NaBloPoMo</a>*. If you've kept up or called me on ALREADY not meeting my challenge, congrats/thanks/pleaseshutyourmouth. I decided to eliminate rule # 2 on the inspiration of CD Beaver and Dixie saying the ohsosmart words of, "It's your blog. If you don't like the challenge. Change it." So I did (and efficiently already crossed out rule #2 like it never happened). Now, I don't believe I can say at the end of this that I've MET the challenge I issued, but I started thinking about what changing the rules meant to me and why I set goals that I rarely, if ever, meet. <br /></p><p>I go to extremes in everything I do. Want to lose 10pounds? Try P90x (aka: death). Want to investigate your religious beliefs? Become someone easily mistaken for a holy roller (and feel uncomfortable and fake the whole time). Start dating a guy? Take one large leap away from couple compromise into self-sacrifice (and lose yourself completely because you don't know how to do anything half way). Every single one of these things, I've done. And the result leaves me walking away feeling like a failure. In the <a href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tortoise_and_the_Hare'>Tortoise and the Hare story</a>, I'm SO the Hare. I start out strong and determined… and end up asleep under the tree while the slow and steady pass me by. And? I've had it with THAT me. <br /></p><p>I didn't gain 10 pounds (or 30) overnight. Religious beliefs aren't answered overnight and they certainly won't come because you "act like a spiritual person". And the issues that led to me "losing myself" started back on a curb when I was 11, not in the relationships of my 20's. So how in the name of all that is holy do I believe that I can turn back time overnight? Answer: YOU DON'T. <br /></p><p>There is a reason for the T&H fable. There is a reason the old, wise little turtle looks at that immature and over confident rabbit and says, "I'll take this hare by a landslide." Back in his little hatchling days he probably said the same thing to an Oogway and got his little shell stomped. He learned when to jog, plan, and shut his mouth. He learned that HOW you get to the finish line isn't nearly as important as getting to the finish line itself (minus all that, "it's about the journey" hub bub). So today, I'm taking a page out of the Tortoise book and BEGGING the Hare in me to slow the eff down and BREATHE. <br /></p><p>I'm going to keep challenging myself, but in MUCH smaller doses. I'd honestly like to lose 30 pounds, but let's start with a little more walking and A LOT less wine. I'd like to write more in my blog, but let's start with writing once a day or when inspired and publishing when I feel comfortable posting my thoughts. And last, let's be proud of how much I've learned in the past 5, 10, 20 years about myself and appreciate those lessons more and look at them as "failure" less. <br /></p><p>So, tortoise or the hare? Neither. But somewhere in between the two seems like the baby bear porridge to me. Jusssssttt right! <br /></p><p>*if you got through all of those links and you're still reading my blog, I heart you… a lot <span style='font-family:Wingdings'>J</span>.<br /></p></span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-32961251723573354562009-11-09T07:54:00.000-06:002010-02-11T13:54:58.551-06:00Bobisms - Volume One - Yeehaw Therapy!I was raised by a Bob. Lately more than ever, I’ve come to appreciate our relationship. I have a dad that still calls me sunshine every time we talk, takes me to the airport at the crack of dawn (and doesn’t get mad when I realize I’ve had him take me to DFW when I should be at LUV), and makes me laugh through anything.<br />
<br />
Now that the, “I have a great dad” speech is over. We can get to the good stuff. The fun stuff. The crazy stories that I’m almost positive NO OTHER person has ever experienced. These are the Bob-isms I will never forget. <br />
<br />
Sit back, strap on your sense of humor, and enjoy!<br />
<br />
Yeehaw therapy…<br />
<br />
You heard me right. That’s the name of it. Yes, I’m from Texas. But Dallas (the city) is not the TV show. I don’t have horses or cows. I don’t live on or near anything like Southfork Ranch and I wouldn’t know the first thing about farm life. Also, yeehaw and y’all are NOT a part of normal vocabulary ‘round these parts. UNLESS you were raised by Bob.<br />
<br />
Bob Disclaimer: I NEVER tell the story right according to my dad. How two people so similar can look at the same story and walk away with entirely different perspectives, I will never understand. BUT, whatever you read about my dad here…take it as one sided as it comes. It’s my perspective. I’m a GREAT story teller and I’ve never let the truth get in the way of a good story (one of my new favorite quotes). <br />
<br />
So, when I hit my pre-teen/early teen years, I was a little…ummm, difficult. My parents divorced when I was 11 and I decided being an asshat was my God given right. Plus, we’re all awkward and pissed off at that age, aren’t we? No? Okay just me. <br />
<br />
My dad and I debated A LOT during this “pleasant” time. I didn’t seem to comprehend the “as long as you live under my roof you’ll live by my rules” speech. So when he’d pull out that little gem, I’d pout. Arms crossed, I’m not eating, I’m just going to be miserable pout. My dad doesn’t do miserable. EVER. The man would sing to you at 6am with a Bob sandwich (everything is a Bob “something”) in hand. So, <strike>bitchyness </strike>attitude was not an option. Any parent can tell you to snap out of it. Tell you to stop acting like a witch or ground you. My dad? NOT SO MUCH. <br />
<br />
He has this theory that NO ONE can be mad if they scream “Yeehaw from the depths of their soul”. Direct quote. So after we’d talk out the issue and I told him I was fine (he MADE me talk until I caved, it didn’t matter if it took until 4am), I had to step out on the front porch and let out a deep soul shaking Yeehaw. As you can imagine, for a teenager IN the awkward stage, this was MORTIFYING. I did all I could to stay quiet. The less awkward I tried to make this, the LOUDER he would yell. He had to show me how it was done (AND embarrass the holy hell out of me). Until I would finally give up and yell at the top of my lungs while everyone and their dog rolled over laughing at me. The worst part? He was right. You can NOT go through something like that without laughing. You stop caring what anyone thinks and you get over yourself. <br />
<br />
So when people can’t figure out how I laugh so many things off, how I keep a bright attitude when it doesn’t make any sense, or how I can make a COMPLETE fool of myself and not care… THIS is how. How do you EVER take life too seriously with a dad like that around?<br />
<br />
YEEEEEHAAAAAW!!!Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-16384644092903145382009-11-06T12:15:00.002-06:002010-02-11T13:55:11.315-06:00They aren't my words, but they're good ones!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In my short time writing in this fun little blog world of awesomeness, I've learned a couple things. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">1) Don't try to write a masterpiece. Sit down, use what inspires you, and just write anything. Most of it will be crap, but sometimes you'll write a little something you're proud to call your own. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">2) Know when to write, know when to link, and know when you could never write anything better than someone else wrote it first. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This brings me to my LOVE of quotes. I'm verbose (understatement of the year) and the fact that anyone can make such an strong point using so few words has always intrigued me. Today, I'm sharing some of my favorites. You've probably heard many of them or they may be exactly what you need to hear at this moment. Either way, they are certainly better than anything I could have come up with on my own. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So enjoy the brilliance of others in my absence of creativity today...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh." - Friedrich Nietzsche <br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Experience is priceless...too bad you have to pay for it with your youth." - Steve Harvey<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"No problem, no matter the size, cannot be solved by the careful application of high explosives... Or a good nights sleep." - unknown<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Life is not about avoiding the storms, but learning to dance in the rain." - unknown<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Gandhi<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"It's never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." -Saint Jerome</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." - Marianne Williamson </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">“Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind.” - Dr. Seuss</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">""Do not complain about that which you permit." - unknown, from Shine (but wow!)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">"I never said every post of <a href="http://gofahneroad.blogspot.com/2009/11/nanu-nanu-challenge.html">The NanuNanu Challenge </a>would be original and enlightening :)." - Gofahne </span>Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5503369796443963913.post-9975727175805475992009-11-05T07:39:00.001-06:002010-02-11T13:48:31.673-06:00The Secret to My SuccessRecently <a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/">LiLu</a> started a TMI Thursday to defy all TMI Thursdays. She's doing a <a href="http://postsecret.blogspot.com/">Post Secret</a> style project that makes me laugh and cry every time I see the entries. <br />
<br />
IF FOR ANY REASON YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT POST SECRET IS? CLICK ON THE POST SECRET LINK ABOVE IMMEDIATELY. It will change you.<br />
<br />
For some reason today, the "secrets" of my blog acquaintences/friends hit me even deeper than normal. I read a secret that I know for a fact is NOT one of my dear friend's submissions, but the secret shared would be her exact words. And my heart, immediately broke. <br />
<br />
I got to thinking about the burdens we all carry. The heartache we endure for fear (usually based in fact because of experience) of rejection or judgement. No one is perfect and everyone has mistakes they regret on a level that few people understand. But I started listening to this "universal voice" of fear, hurt, burden, and deep want for acceptance. I found myself wanting to run up to all my dear sweet friends and just hug them a little longer today. With hope that even if I may not know MANY of the burdens they carry, I could possibly transfer some of that burden on to me with one really great squeeze (or better yet, squeeze the pain and hurt into Never Never Land). I do believe there is a healing power in genuine heartfelt touch and I'd give anything to have the super power to use that little hug to heal the world. <br />
<br />
Then? I cried a little more when I realized how damn lucky I really am. I have secrets. I carry the burden of decisions I made years, months and even weeks ago. But, I do NOT carry them alone. I do not carry them in a soul breaking silence because I've been fortunate enough to experience absolute unconditional love. And this morning I find myself in awe of these amazing people. The ones who, even when my judgement of myself made me feel like no one could love me again, made me realize that when you find a truly amazing father or a soul shaking friend...you are one lucky bish. <br />
<br />
If I tried to do this for everyone that's ever amazed me with their friendship or love, I would NEVER stop typing. So for today I am moved by 5 specific times I shared my burdens with someone else and they quite literally brought me back to life. A thank you will never be enough, but it's the best cyber hug I can give. <br />
<br />
Daddy - Thank you. For never passing judgement on me, the way I did on you, when I thought the world was only black and white.<br />
<br />
Swank - Thank you. You were there the first time I ever "let it all go". You listened as I shared my deepest, darkest, and most shameful secrets. And whether you know it or not, I'm STILL amazed that after I told you everything and quite literally vomited my life mistakes to you, you looked at me through my tears and said... "So? Did you expect me not to love you?"<br />
<br />
Cannonball - Thank you. For the moment when I felt I had no one and I thought my life was "over" and you sat in the front lawn with me and made sure I understood...It was not. And you were there. <br />
<br />
JEM - Thank you. The pick-up truck conversation where you made me realize I wasn't all the things I was afraid I would become...and that you were proud of me for it. <br />
<br />
TOG - Thank you. For making me cry, for making me realize the impact I've had and will have on people, and for every time you told me "I can accomplish anything I set my sights on". I don't think I could have believed that without you.<br />
<br />
These five people AND MANY OTHERS carry a piece of my burden. They loved me unconditonally when I was sure I didn't "deserve" it. They're part of the reason I am overly positive and down right sunshine, rainbows, and cup runneth over. They ARE my silver lining. They ARE the secret to my success. <br />
<br />
So I BEG you today, if you are carrying something on your shoulders...share your burden with someone else. Trust them to love you anyway and trust them to say, "So?" when you think they will turn and run. Because the truth is, SOME people around you will shock you. They will be the last person you want to tell and the first person to hug you when you do. I know not everyone is like this, but sometimes we are the ones sitting in judgement of them. Not the other way around. And if you don't have anyone and you NEED someone? I have an infinite amount of cyber love, real hugs, and "So?" to hand out...and I'll do it in a heartbeat if you need someone to help shoulder your burden today or any other day.Discover(y)Dawn(ed)http://www.blogger.com/profile/08606870773119356514noreply@blogger.com7