We Shall Dance

Occasionally, even a movie about dance, comes out with a line you’ll never forget. I took some liberty in changing the word marriage to love, but personally I think it’s more fitting anyway. You don’t have to put a ring on it to “get it”. Susan Saradon answers a question in Shall We dance:

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet ... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But when you love someone, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things ... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

I’ve been a witness to a few beautiful events over the past couple of weeks. Some exciting, some hopeful, and one tragic. I’ve been a part of celebrating life at almost every stage and I’ve realized how lucky I am to be there for it. Not everyone has friendships like this. But to me, they mean everything. I would do anything to make their wedding day perfect, I would buy the largest bubble in the world to protect my friend’s daughter on her 2nd birthday, and I would quite literally lay down my life to take away the pain when my dear friend’s mother passed away. But I can’t do that. I can only repeat and follow through on the two simple words I’ve come to learn is all we have to offer… “I’m here.” As the one giving the comfort, it feels like nothing. I feel helpless and quite honestly useless, but when those I’ve had to lean on in return say the same to me…it means everything.

At Biggie’s (or as I called her, Miss Fancy) funeral yesterday and in almost every thought I’ve had since I got an email on April 30th that treatment wasn’t working, I’ve been acutely aware of the cycle of things. Birth, Life, Celebration and Memories, and eventually death. I don’t like the loss of control or not having a choice in when these things happen. I want to know why. I want to understand How THIS could happen. I can’t. It’s not my place. But when you truly love someone? Friend, companion, lover, or otherwise…you’re there. You laugh together, you forgive together, you celebrate together, and you cry harder than you ever thought you could because you just don’t want them to hurt. Ever. It’s beautiful and scary and a hard way to realize, you’ve grown up.

We hear it all the time. Life is short. But when you see it first hand, it’s hard to think of anything else. So yesterday, we cried. And we laughed. And we celebrated loving an angel in the only way we know how. I won’t ever forget the way I felt when I first met Biggie. And I won’t ever forget the way I felt the last time I got to see her. Because I knew I’d just witnessed something and someone that would change my life forever. I was right the first time and I know I’m right now.

Remember to make everything you do with your loved ones count. The small moments are never small. I keep thinking about the time that lies ahead. I don’t know that there will always be happiness, but I know I won’t miss a chance to stand beside the “family” I chose. When we want to drink champagne, we shall drink. When we want to travel the world, we shall travel. And when we want to dance in each other’s presence and celebrate our lives, whatever life may bring, we shall dance. Right then. In that moment. And with wreckless abadon. 

You can’t call it history if we’re still doing it.

On the 5th of every month, bloggers from around the world are open to write about rights and issues concerning women. First started by Shine and Marie , we're hoping to bring a variety of women's issues to the forefront to make people aware of what's going on. For the month of May, we've chosen to write about Women's Reproductive Rights and Issues. Please join us in telling us your stories, thoughts, and ideas on a monthly basis. To read the first installment, click here.




The past is supposed to teach us to be better in the future. Learn from your mistakes, we're told. Grow, we hear all the time. But who exactly is the "we" in that statement? Today a group of us have joined together to stand up for reproductive rights and issues. Lately women's rights have taken a beating. In all honesty, they've probably taken a beating for much longer than "lately" and I've just been too ignorant to the information until now. I've got to be honest. I do NOT understand it.

I'm sure you've all heard this little gem before, "Those who can't learn from history are doomed to repeat it." - George Santayana

I want you to think about the direction we're moving in reproductive rights and not argue with me about abortion. I think you're right to an opinion is just as important as mine, but how do any of the issues below move us forward?

The argument behind all abortion is supposedly the sanctity of life vs a person's right to their own body. Yet these statistics (yes, I know you can make statistics out of everything) disturb me tremendously:

I am religious/spiritual/believe there is a power greater than me. I also believe He/She/It is shaking His/Her/It's head at us on a daily basis for the decisions we make in the name of "sanctifying life". When do these judgments apply across the board? Which "life" do you pick and judge? Lie to a high school girl to make her keep the baby, but then essentially make her a leper in the hallways through popularity contests centered around the "celibate" girls. Force a woman to sit through our judgment and keep the child, then blame her when she does not give the baby the attention every child deserves because it WASN'T her decision in the first place. 

Life IS precious. So is the freedom of CHOICE. I don't have to agree with someone's choice to fight for it or defend it. Give them ALL the facts. ALL the options. Then let them decide. If there is some great punishment at the end of this life by a creator, let Him/Her/It decide. Or let things come as they may. Life has a way of working out no matter what we do. We don't change the outcome. Women will have abortions whether we make new RIDICULOUS laws or not. Children will suffer more by coming into an unwanted life than the alternative. 

Choice is progress. We've got to do something together to stop people from taking away choices. Until it's YOUR life, kindly stay out of it.