2010 is starting in just a couple short days. How did that happen? Weren't we JUST partying like it was 1999? I have a hard time remembering how long ago that really was and I barely recognize the naïve little 19 year old girl I was when that song was popular (in real time, NOT as a throwback ya whippersnappers!).
I do remember my last New Year's Eve though. NYE 2008! I remember going to the fancy American Airlines Center, standing in the cold, watching an 80's cover band with new friends, losing my keys AND my ID even though I wasn't drunk, and sitting at IHOP around 2am thinking 2009 had a new air about it that was going to make it…magnificent.
The review? 2009 happened.
Don't get me wrong, amazing things went down. I got to know myself better, I stood up for myself in ways I never thought I would, I watched a friend get married, I watched another move away, I watched divorces and break-ups happen around me, and I made/grew a few friendships that I'm not completely sure how I made it to 2009 without cultivating earlier.
But as I was eating my pasta with healthy alfredo sauce (yeah, you heard me..it's DELICIOUS) in my pj's last night, I realized the year wasn't "magnificent". It was peppered with a whole lot of great and may be the foundation for some yet to be seen OHMYGODCANYOUBELIEVETHATYEARHAPPENED ahead in 2010, but if it's not…I'm content.
Something about that word, content, always gets me to thinking. It seems like settling. Like the fact that all I mentioned was "2009 happened" is some sort of defeat. Questions arise like: Did I not smell the roses enough or put myself out there enough or change the world? It doesn't mean that to me at all anymore. Somehow out of the wreckage of the last few years, I had this really great year of completely content. Maybe that is what getting a little older (am I being too brave by saying wiser?) is about anyway. Contentment is the thing I'm constantly amazed by when looking at my grandparents. They have this ability to live year after year completely content with their lives and a collection of new memories. It doesn't take a major event to define them. The simplicity is beautiful.
On Christmas Eve I sat in my little apartment curled up with holiday movies. Christmas day, after watching the ADORB nephews and niece open their gifts, I had a blast watching movies and drinking heavily and playing WII cheer with OOWD, Shine, and Pretty Bitch. I didn't feel like my day was less because it wasn't some traditional life I thought I'd be living a year ago. That day, this year…my life finally fits me. Like a comfy sweatshirt or the PERFECT T-shirt you've finally worn enough times it just hugs your body when you slip into it or a Snuggie!
I'd love to think somehow I gained immeasurable wisdom in this last year, but I'd venture to guess I did not. I think the more we try to define our lives by grand events or milestones, the more disappointed we become. So without disappointment, I say 2009 happened. And without expectation, I'll welcome 2010 in downtown big D again with different perspective. I'll consider myself lucky if I get to say at the end of next year, 2010 happened and it was a good one…again!
Happy New Year!
1 comments:
Amen to this! We survived another crazy year and saw a lot of very serious drama go down. But, at the end of the year, I feel like our priorities are more on track than they've ever been (minus my HORRID taste in men...which might be getting worse). That's huge in and of itself. Cheers to that! :)
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