It’s time for a rant…


Alright, we've passed it. The time where we are all supposed to be thankful and happy and grateful and here is my giant Bah-hum-bug before we loop back around to Christmas and I sound ungrateful. I HEART Thanksgiving, but a "I'm so thankful for the world" seemed more than fake this year. Thus a perfectly timed rant to end my failed revamped NaNu NaNu Challenge is most definitely necessary.

Fussing. Please kindly QUIT.

My family is wonderful. I'd never say another word beyond that if they weren't also HOLY annoying with the fussing. The caring, I get it. The wanting everyone to be happy, I get it. But, they're also the fussiest group of people I've.Ever.Met. Now, I'm aware of my shortcomings. If I forget, I assure you my friends will remind me quickly. I am stubborn and over-the-top independent. I don't like things to be done for me because I actually ENJOY doing them on my own. If I really don't want to get up and get a napkin, I have NO problem asking someone to get it for me (kindly). This goes against everything my family does. Here is the exchange on Thanksgiving between me, my aunt, and my mom**:

Aunt: "Honey, did you get what you wanted to drink?"
Me: "Yep, Crown poured and tasty. Thank you."
Mom: "Are you sure you don't want some water?"
Me: "Yep."
Aunt: "Why didn't you get any turkey with your food?"
Me: "I say this every year, but turkey just gets in the way of the casseroles. I'm pretty sure I have enough here to feed a large army. I'm good."
Aunt: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Let's just do this and save some time. My legs function perfectly fine. My butt could use the extra ten steps to the kitchen if I need anything. So why don't we just assume that IF I need something, I'll be happy to get it. Okay?"
Aunt, Mom: "Hahahaha (in the most passive aggressive manner possible*). Okay."

Multiply that conversation by the 8 people they're checking on all day and the 24 hours I spent at the house… and you have the Thanksgiving equation that makes me want to tear every hair from head one-by-one. It was a beautiful holiday and being loved is not something to complain about, but when you choose to force feed it to me? I have the right to vomit. Or throw a temper tantrum. Or force a blog on my unsuspecting readers out of nowhere. Also, my family knows me. I've never hidden my personality. They know I have no issue sharing my opinion. Do they really believe that if I was offended by no water or pissed that I forgot my meat that I wouldn't pipe up? Me thinks not.

So to my incredible aunt, my awesome mom, the nagging girlfriends of the world, and the woman I saw at the airport WIPING her husband's mouth with a napkin… He/she/it is a grown ass man/woman/thing. LET THEM BE! And the first time you hear me complain about someone not asking me if I'm okay or how I feel? Feel free to slap the shiz out of me immediately.

*Don't even get me started on my lack of tolerance for passive-aggressive behavior.
**Thank you GG. Chill out smart man.

7 comments:

shine said...

Ahem. My similar rant is coming. I'm so glad we talked about this this morning.

NatalieCottrell said...

Haha! Hey, matriarchs will straight up DIE if they don't have someone to nag. You're savings lives, April!!

Christie said...

I have to agree one of my pet peeves is someone asking me why I didn't try some dish they made, and it's like, "If I wanted to, I would".
You can drag a horse to water, but you can't make it drink!

LiLu said...

This is why I'm glad I spent my Thanksgiving on the couch in sweatpants. ;-)

restaurantrefugee said...

This makes me so happy that I spent my Thanksgiving cooking with friends... and maybe drinking a teensy bit too much wine towards the end of the night. As far as my family knew, they thought I was cooking for a paying client... it was an assumption that was easier than the clarification.

Gofahne said...

Shine - can't wait for your rant. They are always HI-larious.

Natalie - I know I have to embrace it, but I'll dammwell bitch afterwards :).

Christie - Amen.

LiLu - The amount of jealousy I have of you right now is indescribable.

RR - I'm already holy jealous of your TG from reading the menu. The best holiday I ever had was last year with just friends, plenty of food, and no nagging. I couldn't agree more... clarifying would just complicate a perfect holiday.

Thanks all for justifying and reminding me it's not just me!

Anonymous said...

I did the side step of fam myself and went straight to the stress-free friends only meal. It was the best Thanks so-far....and met new people....much more interesting to share a bottle of wine with!

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